Ship Problems
by Invaders Scoria Dia and Vio
Summary: What happens when two mischeivous Irkens and their SIRs infiltrate the Massive? Chaos, that's what. Read on, if you dare. WARNING - Will contain a mentally-insane Irken, a spastic SIR, and maybe a little explosion...
1. Chapter 1

**Scoria: Haii people… It is I, THE ALMIGHTY SCORIA. And I have a story for you. Watch in AWE *points to Dia* **

**Dia: *presses button on suspiciously-laser-like-thingy* *laser-thingy breaks***

**Scoria: aww… Eh. Anyway. WATCH DA SCREEN THING EH**

A short Irken with a pink Invader's uniform on is sitting in a high-tech looking room, looking at suspicious blueprints.

"DIA! Get yo face in here!" she yelled.

Another Irken, wearing a violet-purple Invader's uniform, poked her head into the room. "What?"

The pink-uniformed Irken threw the blueprints at Dia and started typing on a computer. "Get Sal to build that. And tell her _not_ to use exploding cheese this time…" the Irken ordered, typing vigorously.

Dia raised a non-existent eyebrow while looking at the plans. "What are you planning now, Scoria? Sneaking into the Tallests' ship? HA!" Dia then began having a laughing fit, not noticing the sour stare Scoria was giving her.

Scoria rolled her eyes and returned to her plan.

_Meanwhile, on the Massive. . ._

The 'Almighty' Tallests Red and Purple were hovering in front of the screen, watching a huge version of Zim tell them about his latest plan.

"And THEN! Then, the ship will go up into the Dib-beast's brain and make him un-smart. Smart, huh?"

Red looked at Zim in disinterest. "Didn't you already try that?" he asked dryly.

Zim froze. "Uh... DO NOT QUESTION ZIIIIIM!"

Red shared a look with Purple and he shrugged. "Well that sounds interesting and all, but-"

"_Incoming transmission from Earth."_

"-we have to take a call from… Earth? Uh, well, yeah. Good luck with your brain-killing ship." Purple said in a rush, and the transmission cut.

Much to the Tallests' displeasure, Zim's face was replaced by that of the well-known devil-Irken.

Purple groaned and Red yelped as her zipper-toothed grin appeared on the screen. "What do you want, defect?" Red mumbled.

"Watch it, strawberry, I can plan your demise," Scoria threatened, making both Tallests flinch.

"What do you want?" Red repeated. Scoria's grin returned. "I just want to warn you, you may be experiencing ship problems. Snack-disappearance, control malfunction, the works. Bye strawberry, bye plum." With that, the transmission cut.

Red shared a look of terror with Purple.

"_SNACK-DISAPPEARANCE?"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Scoria: You had better have enjoyed last chapter, because-**

**Sal: *runs in holding in a laser* HEHE. I'M GONNA BLAST YOOOOOOOOUUU**

**Dia: my sentiments exactly.**

Scoria was typing commands into her computer, within inches of taking control of the Massive's controls.

The door suddenly blast open, shattering her concentration. She turned around and started yelling obscenities in Irken. "Who interrupted me?" she hissed once her anger had started to fizzle out somewhat.

Her SIR, Jaz, sat there looking at her calmly. "Your laser is ready," she informed her.

"IT IS!" Scoria screamed, and dashed out so fast it sent Jaz spinning across the room.

Jaz sent a look of contempt after her insane Master. "Idiot…"

_Meanwhile, in the Lab_. . .

Sal stared at the laser she had just created. "_Shinyyy_…" she whispered.

Scoria burst in and tackled the laser, stroking it. "Hey, does my little lasey-wasey want to destroy some snacky-wackies?"

Dia was watching from the door. "Oi," she face-palmed. "Scori, the teleporter is ready."

"YAY WE'RE GONNA BLOW IT UP!" Sal screamed.

Scoria tilted her head upwards. "Ever notice the ceiling is a star chart?"

"Nothing. I say _nothing_," Dia muttered.

Dia narrowed her eyes impatiently. "Jaz, get Sal," she ordered as she dragged Scoria into the teleporter by her antennae.

Jaz's eyes turned red as she saluted. "Yes, Dia! I obey," she shouted as she took Sal by the arms and dragged her into the teleporter.

_Meanwhile, at the Massive_. . .

Purple was stuffing his face with donuts, while Red was staring at him incredulously. "How could you eat at a time like this? We have to stop that defect from stealing our snacks!" he shouted.

Purple paused, looking up at Red. "Have fun with that, I'm enjoying these donuts while I still _have_ them." Purple announced.

Red looked at the device in his claws. "Good point." Red then started stuffing his face with donuts as well, and neither of them noticed the bright flash coming from behind the storage room door.

_Meanwhile, in the Storage Room_. . .

Scoria seemed to notice they were no longer at her Base, and she stood up. Her insane zipper-toothed grin made Dia and the SIRs struggle not to take a few steps back.

"Time for Ship Problems."

**Scoria: Dun worry, action will start next chapter...**

**Jaz: Hopefully I won't be in it!**

**Scoria: Don't kid yourself.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Scoria: woohoo! Reviewer on our first story :D**

Scoria cracked open the Storage Room door, pausing to glance skeptically at the donut-eating Tallests. Dia followed her out, mumbling something about she says 'nothing'.

Scoria pressed a button and a flower pot landed on the Irken with the ship controls.

"Those buttons really are useful…"

Jaz and Sal dragged the unconscious Irken into the Storage Room while Dia took the controls. She started pressing random buttons and the ship started swaying.

Scoria tossed Dia a necklace before jumping up onto the ceiling.

_Meanwhile, half-way across the room_. . .

Purple and Red paused in their snack eating and looked around suspiciously. "Does it seem like the ship is… swaying, a little?" Purple questioned.

Red opened his mouth to answer, but that's as far as he got, because a SIR unit ran up and jumped on his face.

Red yelped as the SIR started poking his face. "Purple! Get this _thing_ off of me!" he snarled as he shoved the SIR, who still stuck to his face.

Purple could hardly talk clearly over his snickering. "I don't know, Red, it's a good look for you," he managed to get out between snickers.

Red stared quizzically as the SIR jumped off of his face and disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

Red and Purple stared at eachother for a moment, then screamed.

_Meanwhile, in the snack compartment_. . .

Scoria jumped down from the ceiling, disabling her ceiling boots. She and Sal took out vacuum-cleaner like objects and started sucking snacks into them.

Scoria grinned as the snack compartment emptied. She pressed a random button and the snacks were teleported to some random coordinates in space.

_Meanwhile, in the Resisty's Base_. . .

Lard Nar was sitting at a table, looking over some plans to infiltrate the Massive, when two sacks of snacks materialized above him. They fell on top of him and he let out a started yelp.

"Snacks!" he exclaimed in amazement.


	4. Chapter 4

**Scoria: Oh, Irk, I'm SO sorry about the wait for this chapter D: A certain SOMEONE spilled soda all over my computer -. -**

**Dia: *inches away slowly***

Suddenly, a robotic arm flew down from the ceiling and attempted to grab Scoria and Sal.

Scoria leaped out of the way expertly. "Wow, I never thought Red and Purple would be smart enough to install a _security system_ in here!" she remarked.

Scoria activated her ceiling boots and jumped up into the ceiling. She opened a panel in the robot arm.

_Please Insert Password_

Scoria blinked and typed in 'snacks'.

_Access Granted_

She rolled her eyes. "Predictable." Scoria started typing, and the robot arm fell limp. "Okay, Sal, where is the Voot-store-room-thingy?"

A map popped out of Sal's head and a large red X was placed at the left side of the Massive. Scoria grinned. "Les go!"

_Meanwhile, in the Airlock_. . .

Jaz let out a feral screech and dropped into the Airlock. There were three Irkens curled up together in the corner.

"Hay Irkens, want to be freeeeeh?" The Irkens continued to stare at the defective SIR.

Jaz blinked at them. "Ya'll coming or not?" she inquired, sending a grappling hook through the ceiling.

The Irkens looked at each other, then grabbed on Jaz. Jaz pressed a button on her grappling hook they flew upward.

Purple and Red were staring in disbelief from the other side of the clear door.

_Meanwhile, in the Voot-store-room-thingy_. . .

Scoria and Sal were screeching loudly, banging crowbars into Voot Cruisers. Scoria laughed like a maniac as one of them blew up.

"_Warning, cloaked ship nearing,_" Scoria's watch-communicator announced.

Scoria whipped some goggles onto her face and stared out of the side of the Massive. "Hmm… a Resisty ship…"

Scoria reached into her pocket and pulled out a teleporter. She put in some coordinates and, with a bright flash of light, Lard Nar fell, dazed, into the Voot-store-room-thingy.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

When Lard Nar came to, he yelled in shock. There was an Irken and a blue-eyed SIR unit staring at him. "Wha-"

The Irken cut him off. "Lard Nar. Leader of the Resisty, hater of the Irken race. Care to join me in causing mayhem for the Tallests?" she inquired.

Lard Nar backed up. "Who's asking?" he asked defensively.

The Irken grinned devilishly. "Some Irkens call me a devil, others say I'm just insane. I'm Scoria."

**Scoria: sooo… yah. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Dia: Scori's in the hospital. (Not really a big surprise... .-.) She broke her arm when she fell out of a tree. Her parents wouldn't allow her to have her laptop in the hospital so I had to write this chapter. The chapter after this or the one after that will be last, I think... Enjoy~**

Lard Nar's eyes widened. "So that was you who dropped the snacks on me?"

Scoria blinked. That wasn't the first question she thought he'd ask. "Yes, yes I did," she said proudly.

Lard Nar grinned. "What do you have planned?"

_Meanwhile, with the Invisible Dia and the Tallests_. . .

Dia snickered quietly as the Tallests came in from the Airlock room, looking flustered. "How could they just invade our security like this?" Red demanded.

"Maybe because it's not… what's the word? GOOD." Sal fell randomly from the ceiling onto Red's face.

"Not this again," Red groaned, while Purple started snickering again.

Dia smiled slightly and gave the ship controls a jerk, causing the ship to crash into a nearby asteroid.

"!" Red yelled as he flew across the room, causing Sal to fly back up to the ceiling and Purple to land on top of him. Red pushed Purple into a nearby pile of fallen donuts and hovered over to where the ship controls were.

Red's eyes widened as he saw the controls 'moving on their own'. "Purple! That devil-creature has bewitched the Massive!" he screeched.

Dia put her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing, causing the ship to lean to the left.

Purple groaned. "This is just like the time _Zim_ took control of the Massive," he mumbled.

"Incoming transmission from Earth."

The Tallests let out identical groans as Zim appeared on the screen. "Hello, my Tallests! I have noticed that you are on a course towards Earth! Are you coming to visit Zim?" he asked hopefully.

Red and Purple shared looks filled with terror. "No, we _aren't _Zim; that devil Scoria is driving us through random parts of space and we are now randomly heading towards Earth," Red lied.

Zim brightened. "I have been working on a new teleportation device, I can come aboard the Massive and take care of your… _pest_ problem," he said proudly.

Dia snorted. _'That Irken couldn't even kill an Earth-fly_,' she thought

Purple shook his head speedily. "We'll be fine, Zim-"

"No, My Tallests, I insist. I will be there as soon as I can get my teleporter running. You can count on me, my Tallests!" Zim said, saluting.

The transmission cut.

"You know what this means, right?" Purple whispered.

"We'll have to deal with Scoria _and_ Zim!"


End file.
